Two of my favorite proverbs from japan are; さるも き から おちる saru mo ki kara ochiru (Even monkeys fall from trees) and 七転び八起き nanakorobi yaoki (Fall seven times and stand up eight).
There has been a lot of failing this week in art. Over and over I have tried to pick myself up and push on. A few days ago I rushed some of my water colors, in between dealing with the kids, which on reflection is a sure way to have things end in tears – and it did.
The work I produced was as rushed as you would expect and ruined the piece so I have put it aside to ponder a way to fix it.
The conversations in my head got to that screaming point of “You cant do art, you wont ever improve and give up” which I wallowed in for the rest of the day until my partner staged an intervention and got my head out of the despair. (And my good friend Simcha gave me some virtual hugs.)
Currently I am expected far too much of my art – the pictures inside my head are so much better than what I can achieve at the moment. As my partner pointed out I haven’t been painting more than a month and haven’t been drawing for more than a year and to expect to master such a detailed, complex and skilled thing as art in such a short time is a little ridiculous. (and perhaps arrogant.)
So falling down is done, picking up has begun.
I remind myself that its a journey, the joy I get is in the act of trying, sharing and improving and maybe inspiring others (my 5yo son behind me is busy coloring in an undersea sketch I did for him last night and across our room are strings draped with pictures he and his twins have done.)
My son wisely told me this morning “I never mind if I fail, I just start again, that’s what a professional artist does.”
Words of the wise.
My sons finished work:
And the orc I am still working on. (still lots to fix/draw)